Ask/Filter/Proceed
For a few months, above my desk I had a postit note with the phrase, “Don’t ask for help… ever”. Then, directly below it, another one with much smaller text that read, “unless you really, really need it.”
I’ve developed almost a hatred of asking for help. I guess I saw it as admitting vulnerability. I don’t like that realization that I’m not able to do something on my own. Asking for help meant that I didn’t fully accomplish something, it meant the credit/reward wasn’t entirely mine. As I’m writing this, I realize how selfish an attitude that is/was.
Over the past few months I’ve learned how stupid that postit note is, and I’ve developed a new philosophy on the matter. Ask/filter/proceed.
Believe it or not, even with an attitude such as the one I’ve outlined above, I still love the idea that everyone is a teacher. I very much believe this to be true, but now I have no problem asking anyone for help. The only difference is, I’ve realized that not everyone’s course of action is the correct one for me.
I appreciate the aspect of multiple datapoints, and I think it’s a valuable part of making a good decision if you can filter an array of information. Learning to asking for help, filtering the information, and choosing which course of action is the right course for me has been a valuable lesson. I emphasize, right course for me, because I believe that to be the most important part.
For the most part, when receiving advice from someone, everyone is ‘right’ in one way or another. However, its up to you to decide which course of action is going to fit best in your own situation. Sometimes, its just good to see your situation from someone else’s point of view.
One mistake I’ve done in the past is taking advice as gospel. If someone “successful” told me what their course of action would be, I’d try to follow it to the letter. ”If it worked for them, it should work for me”, I’d think. I can almost guarantee that’s not the way things work. I’m reminded of the phrase, “past success isn’t always the best predictor of the future success”.
I think it applies perfectly in this situation. Just because someone “successful” has advised you to do something, doesn’t mean you should follow it exactly. I’m willing to bet some version of that advice would work, but it needs to be a version of the advice that works for you. Ask/Filter/Proceed. Don’t just ask, and follow.
